10/21/2013 Today is the Mikvah….

Well I’m prepared; I’m calm; I’m relieved and looking forward to marking anew on my own terms!  I’ve been offered to have attendees other than the volunteer but am going to do it alone.  I wanted to say yes to our Rabbi who graciously offered to be there for me.  But preparing for this renewal, and saying goodbye to a past I’ve worked hard at shedding, is something I think I just need to do by myself.   I don’t have expectations of sudden cleansing of all my struggles emotionally, but I feel that it is a good date and time for me to put this in a place other than the forefront of my self-reflection.  October 21, 2013.  This date has no significance!  And in that, it becomes significant for me.

Today is for me.  Not only to cleanse myself in hopes of meeting someone new in my future, but to start anew in a fresh and clean way and put to rest some pain and discomfort.

So now I’m ceremoniously putting it to rest!  I’m taking control of what I think I need to feel cleansed once and for all.  And I’m READY to be sort of “done” with it

And, more importantly, I’m intensely grateful for the family and friends who have been patient and deeply caring and concerned for me and my well-being.  And I’m grateful for those family and friends who wanted to be, but eventually just got tired of me not being able to just “forget about it”….  I’m sorry it wasn’t that easy for me to just do that!  And I hope and pray you never have anything like that happen to you in your life that you can’t just “brush off” regardless of a deep desire to do so…..

Finally, Ezekiel 36: 25-26 addresses Mikvah for me: